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Some Get Love

There was a boy who told me his story. He comes from that life we all hear about. His mom is sick, he wants to help, he wants to pursue himself. He doesn’t know which road to take. He asked me what the point in living is if he can’t chase his dreams. I had…

NYC Lady Bug

  A lady bug flew into my room. It was 2017 in NYC.  It was September. I had that broken heart and the lady bug didn’t belong there. The noises were loud. The smell of cement and rain filled the air. She was there though. She sat on my finger. She gave me hope. It…

I saw my Ex-Husband

I saw him yesterday. It has been six months. Fernando, the ex. I was speaking to a good friend about what the experience of seeing him might be like. She offered maybe I would think to myself, “I am so glad this didn’t work out.”  That wasn’t exactly what happened. I could feel him walking up to me from about thirty feet away. He always did have a particular kind of smile. In fact, he has one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen. We didn’t touch but his warmth beside me as we walked was familiar. Tears…

Divorce Thinkings

It’s a word I play around with. I used to hear the word out loud and it felt like I was cursing. The word “divorce” feels heavier to me than the word death. Divorce. I went through a stage where every person I met I would say, “Hi, I’m divorced.” It was my identity for a while. Being a wife was the identity I clung to before so it makes sense to me that I would then incorporate this new identity. “Hi, I’m divorced.” I gained twenty pounds from my divorce. I drank wine for a few months and I…

Biology of Love

I keep thinking about the biology of falling in love. I warn all the women I meet! I was serving a few weeks ago and made a potentially terrible mistake! I had run a woman’s card for another table. She wasn’t gone yet but definitely about to be to her car. I was in freak-out/calm…

Dear Grace

My constant thoughts flow with nothing more than a stream of questions. It is strange to be woman. It is stranger still to be a single woman with thirty on the horizon. I look at children and wonder if I will have any.  I look at men and think, “Who are you really?” Questions loom. I am over-whelmed until the advocate comes once more. “Grace every piece of life is a gift. We are all given different gifts. Don’t waste this time on what may never be. You could die tomorrow. It could all be over. What did you cultivate…