Berry Tree Days

I thought of you yesterday. There were berries. Wild berries. I thought of us eating the berries and climbing the trees. I thought of us going through the woods. The way that we would fight over who would get to climb which tree.

The way that I would miss you when we would fight. I love you with a power that bothers me at times. It rushes through every particle of me that I call my body. Your pain feels like my pain. Your hurt feels like my hurt.

You have fallen sweet one. It was not all your fault. There are things that happened. You had the world lined up against you. A football team against a child. A matchless match.

A football team that didn’t follow the rules. They ran through every foul and you watched with horror. Worse, you were beaten with a foot on top of your chest. You on the floor. “No! “No!”

A cry that went unnoticed. 

All that you are a combination of things that happened, lies believed, and a heritage inherited.  You never chose this.

The not favored one. The one who must learn now to make it on his own.

Make it on your own is such a romanticized phrase.  I do not mean to say you are alone. I mean to say, the thoughts in your head are yours to own.

You roam the earth looking from the outside in. I beg you, look on the inside! Start to see yourself as a friend.

No drug, no woman. no amount of money can subtract the remainder that this part, the part where you see yourself as friend, this is your part to carefully piece and mend.

A football team may have come along and beaten you down. Never forget even you had and have a crowd. A crowd of supporters!

A crowd that cheers!

We are cheering for you unloved one.

Be the lover of your own soul.

Squeeze out the bad!

Pull yourself out!

Fight for your family! 

That curse that you would be like him. 

It is not true. 

She was wrong.

A curse is a curse if you believe.

I am here to tell you as a supporter til the end,

You were made to be a father, a lover, a friend.

As the boy who was cursed, the child who was unloved,

I don’t know if it is a possibility you could ever begin to see,

You need yourself now more than anything.

 

 

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