Moving Forward is a Choice

“Moving forward is a choice.” I have read that in many places. Choice. I thought I would wake up one day and not feel sad anymore about losing my marriage. I thought it would be like the child who wakes up four inches taller than a few months previous.  Part of healing is like that but then part of it is in the choice.

I could have gone back to my old life. I was met with welcome arms but those arms were filled with a lot of lies. I lost someone that I loved. I lost my old routines. I lost my home. I lost financial stability.

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I gained more than just sixteen pounds from the past two years. I gained a deep connection with my nieces. I have spent more time with my mom in the past year than I have in years. I get to see my childhood best friend nearly every day as well as her son who is now part of my family. I love my crazy server job at the moment and all of the wonderful dysfunction that happens within the restaurant community. 

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Part of healing is a choice. I woke up a few weeks ago. It was like waking up from a deep slumber. The sun shined in my window as it always had but I felt happy to be awake. Joy I have had but a moment of happiness to be alive? I had made a choice. It is over. This is finished. The start of this divorce began two years ago. It is time to move on. Moving on doesn’t mean I never cared. If I have too, I can take any baggage left with me. There will be places to let it go and give it away. Its okay if it takes time.

But it is definitely time.

Goodbye Fernando

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Goodbye.

 

1 thought on “Moving Forward is a Choice

  1. Good for you, Girl! It is so hard moving on from something that was such a major part of your life for so long. You’re right though, it takes a combination of time and choice to heal completely. It sounds like you are on the right path. Wishing you the best ❤

    Like

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