If there was one thing I could currently make a person stop doing, it would be to stop comparing someone else’s journey to their own. “Well, I know how she feels because I went through this too,” or “I know what it is like and I had it worse!” As if their experience makes them the authority. The truth is we don’t know how people feel. We are not them. If I compare my experience to yours so definitively, I have absolutely robbed you of your right to your own experience.
The comparison trap is a terrible place to be. Often people think of the comparison trap as a place to compare self to others in the, “I wish I had this I wish I had that mentality.” There is another one I want to remind you of as I remind myself the same. It is a comparison rooted in pride. It is the place where you are so proud of what you have lived through that you throw your history onto someone else. Please remember, you using your story to point your finger at what someone else should do does not help them. It hurts them not to mention how incredibly arrogant it is (points at self).
Let people live their own life. Let them breathe. And if you are willing to grow, take a second and ask yourself, “Why do I raise my life story to the pedestal?” Why do you think your history is, “the way, the truth, and the light?”
Please give advice, please empathize with others! I feel so connected to people who have been through pain similar to mine but my story is not the only answer to healing. It is a story. I offer it as a story and as an offering. It is not the only answer.
I’m shutting my mouth more next month. I’m sure the family will thank me (consider it your Christmas present). May God take out roots of hidden pride masked as good intentions. Take it all out! Bleed me out and in its place, give me the listening ear so I can speak with you the other person in mind. Give me the words that may consider someone else’s own, individual, unique, journey.
Just a Human