Forgiveness. I bet they didn’t tell you it would take a million thoughts.
You would have to grieve over and over. You would stare at walls with despair as your companion.
They didn’t tell you that you would have to repeat to yourself over and over the humanity that makes people who they are.
I bet they never told you how you would forget that you had decided to forgive. You still don’t call. You still stay far away. You still think about them the way you used too. You see them and think, “Oh its not so bad.” Then the thing happens that triggers you all over again. You ask yourself, “Is it worth this?” You always say no but keep trying anyway.
No one told you that you would have to do all of this just to get back to a place of bliss. No one told you. I’m telling you now. Its the battle of ups, its the rock- bottom downs. Forgiveness is a choice they say but they never told you it would be a battle, a chase, a race before the grave.