My Love

My Love,

I’m so sorry for all of the days you will go unnoticed. I look at you and think about your beautiful little face and I wish you would never feel pain. I don’t want you to think you are unwanted or abandoned. I know you feel this. I see the torment beginning to mold your little malleable mind. The lies. Oh, the lies my love. 

You are the most exquisite little lady I have ever known. The sunshine streams from those big brown eyes. You are the party! No one told you did they! You are the party! I wish she could see what I see in you.

I wish she would love you the way that you deserve to be loved. Mommies carry baggage too. Some mommies have so much hurt that they can’t see you clearly. They are marred with yesterday’s troubles. No one taught them how to love. No one showed them their loveliness. Now, the line of darkened vision continues and you are the next victim. I want to run to you! I want to save you! I want to give you all the wisdom that springs from my past! I’d spare your little heart! 

There are people who will tell you to give love but that for you to have needs is wrong. I am here to tell you that is a lie!

God made you to have needs and it is true that ultimately only he can fill that void of fullness that you most crave. It is true that people will leave you, forsake you, hurt you!!! It is all true.

It is also true that people will come back to you for forgiveness. They will change. They will grow. They will fail but they won’t leave. They will hurt you but they will change because they will love you! They will fight for you in every sense of the word that they can. They will be there! Do not stay where there is death and no life. I wish I had time to teach you the difference. You are growing. The tree that stands tall. I don’t see its branches lengthen. I don’t notice the roots until the cement cracks. It will be the same with you! Twenty-four hours ago you looked and felt the same. Oh each morsel counts. How every morsel counts! 

You are not alone my little lady! I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I am so sorry.

I am so sorry that I cannot save you anymore than I could save me. The problem with evil is that it exists. The problem with evil is that you can’t escape it. The paradox of evil is that it can be used for good. 

You are a paradox. God is the greatest paradox. He is.  My prayer for you today is that he will hold onto you as the lies try to mold your mind and tell you that you are not this beautiful beacon of light and energy. My hope is that I can continue to tell you that you are not stupid. You are not a mistake. You are not an issue.  I would have held onto you. I make time for you now. I give time to you now. Time is all I have to give you. With this time I hope to help you to see that the lines of lies can end, with you. 

I love you.

Yours Always,

Grace

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