I Date Fear

I can’t live for him anymore.  I am exhausted.
When I get to the end of this journey,
It will all have been about him.

His constant rumination his smell on my skin.
I live for him I forget about me.
I’d die for him I don’t want that.
Devious plots he parted ways down the street,
Long enough to let me know I am not loved.
Ambiguous intentions here and then not.
Attracted to a familiar fear, Attractive fear, Attracted to fear.
I date fear.
I live with him. He gives me mixed signals.
I enjoy the abuse.
He is the avoidant, my name, anxiety.
Security has never quite been for me.
Laws of attraction again at work.
Magnetic, charged,
Delicious delight.
Cobwebs and cockroaches.
Spiders and snakes.
Hoarded houses with draping black mold.
Him the caretaker me the damsel in distress.
I can’t live for him anymore.
Fear stop your pursuit.  I won’t clean your house.
The trash will never go.
I won’t try I can leave.
I can leave.
Security in me to give me what I need.
Security in me to see the fool.
His name is fool his way fear.
Charged and magnetic, I re-wire soul.
Secure, Secure, Secure.
The charger has broke.

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