I have sad friends today. I have happy friends. Valentine’s day. I have friends who have spent their twenties wishing they were married. I have lonely friends looking for love. They know what I will say.
As Bob Marley sings, “Don’t worry about a thing cause every little things gonna be all right…”
Love with the wrong good man or woman is an invisible prison where two people fight to become one. The key that doesn’t fit. The shoes that are too big. The souls that cannot join. The entanglement of two spirits that simultaneously move towards and pull away. Day after day after day. A constant ache.
In an effort to not be alone, there is a settling for the imaginary. I invite anyone who is single or a human really to read about the biology of falling in love. Study it. I wish they taught it in high school. Look up connection and chemistry. You will spend your whole life having chemistry with all types of people. Don’t mistake chemistry for connection. I did that for years with lovers and seemingly good friends.
Chemistry is step one. It means we vibe. Connection is built over time. There are friends you go deep with. There are friends where you don’t. The vibe takes time to turn into whatever connection it will be. It takes time to know a person.
Enjoy the idea of love. Enjoy the wait for love. In the meantime fall in love with life. Fall in love with sunshine. Fall in love with flowers. Fall in love with darkness. The moon, the ocean, the trees, the smile of a stranger. Fall in love with the breath. Be grateful for your beating heart. Fall in love with what fits you. Whatever that is.
Today I fall in love with my writing. I fall in love with my long walks. I fall in love with my friends. I fall for it all. I used to fear I would die before I would have a family. It is a great desire of mine to have one. I do want children. I may never get it. I don’t know how much time I have here. I cannot rush love for fear. Fear never brings love. As the scripture says, “Perfect Love Casts out all Fear.”
I cast out fear. I embrace the truth that a life without a fake lover is better than with.
No more counterfeits.
Happy Valentine’s day.