NYC Herpes Baby

Nicole: Lets go to the bar this weekend! I want to meet a man.

Rose: When I’m at the bar all I think about is how that man could have herpes in his mouth. And then I ask myself,  “Is he worth herpes? He never is.”

Nicole: You ruin everything!

Rose: The guy would buy me a drink, we’d mingle, and then he’d say something dumb like, “Hey baby want to get out of here?” I would say, “Hey handsome you got some updated papers with ya?”

“Whats that he would say?”

“STD screening, are you updated?”

Man walks away

Nicole: You really do suck.

Rose: Saved ya life! I am not going home with some stranger for an STD.  No way!!!

Nicole:  I really did just want to meet a man.

Rose: Don’t meet men at bars.

Nicole: Back to tinder.

Rose: Don’t meet men on tinder.

Nicole: You have ruined my  inspiration to make out with strangers. You have ruined my bar weekend.  You will not take tinder away too!

Rose: I know a guy up there who is twenty years older than what his profile says. He looks young.  He has two kids but doesn’t tell the women.  He sleeps around with two a week when he can. I won’t tell you his name.  I will tell you its true.

Nicole: And you’re his friend?

Rose: Sure! His mouth isn’t touching my lips.  No CPR allowed!  No thank you!! Okay that is dramatic.  If I was dying he could do CPR. But Hey! if you’re lucky you might find him on tinder!!!

Nicole: I’m going to a bar this weekend!

Rose: I wanna go.

Nicole:  Seriously!  After all of that?

Rose: I’ll be your date!

Nicole: Now you want to block me!

Rose: Yes, yes darling, the love of your life will not be at the bar. Mr. I am good-looking with crap lines trying to get laid tonight bar guy. NO! NO! NO!

Nicole: You ruin everything!

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