Hey L.A., Do I Stay?

I felt this way once before.  I was living on a couch in Rocky Mount North Carolina.  I was in school, I had a job, I could pay my bills, My soul was dead.  The first time I drove into Wilmington North Carolina I felt a peace. I had all ready been to three different schools.  If I moved again, I would be on to my fourth.

I reached out to a school advisor. “You need to stay put.  You have been to quite a few schools all ready. This could set you back another three or four years.”

I got off the phone. I drove to a near-by park.  I looked up at the trees.  I walked down the long hills.  I found myself sitting on the rocks by the water.  I listened  to the water. I prayed.  I breathed. There was no sign.  There was no answer.  I knew I had to leave.  It was my choice to trust.

My hometown,  I went there for a last walk.  My dad walked with me; The sun was setting.  The air was warm; We took quick strides:

“Something feels different this time.” He looked in my eyes as he said it.  I looked back, “Yeah, I’m not coming back. Nothing will ever be the same again.” His eyes teared up.

My silver Monte Carlo and me made the move.  I lived there from 2011 to 2017.  I look back on those years.  I felt stagnant, I felt pain, There was joy.  The following are a few things gained from my time in Wilmington North Carolina:

I fell in love;  I fell head over heels in love for a man.  I married that man. I grew.  I learned how to communicate.  Recently, I divorced from that man.

I earned my Bachelor’s degree in Philosophy with a minor in Psychology.

I fell in love with dance.

I fell back in love with God.

I ran up and down beaches screaming to the waves.

Twenty children screamed “LET IT GO LET IT GO!” to the tops of their lungs in the trailer I lived in.

My heart was stolen by two little boys. They taught me I will be a good mother one day.  They undoubtedly showed me that people are absolutely irreplaceable.

I gained life-long friends. Katherine and Sharon.  I met Kevin and Anne. I continued my friendship with Erica. Gifts.  The most beautiful gifts. Friends.

My eating disorder stopped.

Love found me in Wilmington.

The best decisions can come on the whim.

It could be the same here.

Hey, L.A.,

I plan to stay.